The Nine Magical Words Of Effective Networking

Over and over again we read or hear stories in the media about how people unexpectedly come to the aid of others. The stories range from life-saving super heroism to acts of charity for someone whose plight has caught the attention of the public.

Behind the scenes, however, people are continually helping each other in smaller, unpublicized ways. The help can come as individual help, corporate help or social help.


At the individual level, help varies, ranging from small courtesies to offering support for someone's more specific needs. At the corporate level the help may address employee needs or approach community problems in conjunction with others. At the social level, organizations such as service clubs and volunteer groups are continually offering aid.

There is an inherent desire amongst most people to help those whom they perceive to be less endowed them in terms of money, possessions or health. Some do it because of their spiritual beliefs that this is what God wants them to do, others do it because they are brought up with such warm values and being the good Samaritan is something that is inculcated in them right from their youthful days - the bottom line is if they are approached for help they will surely do so.

People Really Do Want To Help

We believe, and have found, that most people really do want to be helpful to others. Sometimes a crisis situation presents itself where help is needed and you are there and available to help. A recent example is the story of friends, a husband and wife, who visited New York City for an evening of opera and dinner. While walking from dinner, the husband collapsed and fell to the sidewalk on his face. From many of the stories we've all read about the wild streets of the Big Apple, we might have expected the worst to happen, perhaps, rowdies rushing to strip the wallet from our friend's pocket.

Instead, passers-by stopped to offer whatever assistance they could to the couple. Several people ran to telephone for help or to seek police help. Even a "tough" New York cabbie pulled over to offer a ride to the hospital. None of these people were consciously looking for a chance to be helpful. It was just that the opportunity arose and was acted upon instinctively.

The help mentioned above is generally unsolicited help. But what about asking for help? Is this a sign of weakness? Will people be offended by a request for help? What are your chances of getting help when you really need it? Is there a networking technique that you can use?

The Nine Magic Words Of Networking

There most certainly is. If without asking for help, there are so many people giving of their time and efforts to help when they perceive someone in need of help, imagine the response when you actually seek their help. Asking for help is not a sign of weaknesses, it is the recognition that you need help and you are appealing to those who have the capacity to provide it to you.

Some years ago we discovered nine magic words, what we now call our Nine Magic Words of Networking.

Here they are: "I have a problem and I need your help." The power of these words is absolutely amazing. Time and time again we have purposely used the technique of approaching people for help with this short, to the point sentence. And it works!

The words get attention. They particularly appeal to people's desire to be helpful. They preface your needs simply and politely. People want to believe that they are problem solvers. It appeals to their intrinsic values and they help you.

Several years ago we tried an experiment to prove our point. We needed some clippings from recent issues of our local news paper, and we sent our summer intern to the publisher's office to ask for copies of the desired material.

Our intern's mission was not as simple as it seemed. Previous encounters with the paper's receptionist had convinced us that she was not an easy person to deal with. She was perhaps not ideally suited to be a receptionist. Although we had never approached her with a request for clippings, we were sure that her response to the request would be less than enthusiastic.

But before our intern left on his errand, we told him he should introduce himself and his company, then immediately use the magic words and tell the receptionist what he wanted.

We could hardly wait to find out what had happened. "No problem," he said upon his return. "She gave me two copies of what you wanted - and she even suggested that the next time I need copies I call ahead so that she could have the material ready when I arrived."

Money In Your Pocket

Write down the nine magic words. Tuck them into your wallet or purse. These nine words, coupled with two other words, "Thank-You" might just be one of the most important things you'll need to know about networking.